Their lyrics are amazing…

The 2000s: A Decade in Review
*Think back to ten years ago on this month.
*Write truthful answers and ELABORATE. This makes it more interesting!
*It’s about personal changes. Have fun with it!

Then: December 1999

1. Age: 21

2. Romantic Status: Single, but still madly in love with my ex.

3. Occupation: University student/part time admin at Revenue Canada

4. Fun night out: Probably an evening at Zaphod’s or Icon. Not a lot of partying happening though.

5. My BFFs: Cristina, Laura, Olga

6. I spent way too much time: Browsing the internet

7. I spent not enough time: Can’t think of much, actually.

8. I wanted to be when I grew up: An author with a published book.

9. Biggest concern: Finishing school. Getting over the ex.

10. What my biggest concern should have been: Probably finishing school and getting a job.

11. Where did I live: Kent Towers. Best apartment ever. Super nice, great location.

12. Dumbest thing I did that year: Got mad at my friend Matt for no real reason and stopped talking to him.

13. If I could go back now and talk to myself I would say: Just wait. Everything will change, but enjoy all of this. Take more pictures.

14. Picture of myself then: No digital camera back then, and none of the few I have are scanned.

Now: December 2009

1. Age: 31

2. Romantic Status: Single.

3. Occupation: Acting manager at federal government department.

4. Fun night out: The lookout. A pub.

5. My BFFs: Harder to say now. My friendships aren’t of the same intensity. Plus I’ve gotten in some rather large fights with two of the people that would have previously been the answer to this question.

6. I spend way too much time: Browsing the internet. Some things never change.

7. I spend not enough time: Cleaning. Writing. Reading. Many other things.

8. I want to be when I grow up: An author with a published book

9. Biggest concern: Finding a new job once this acting position ends.

10. What my biggest concern should be: My heath and well being.

11. Where do I live: Smack downtown Ottawa.

12. Dumbest thing I have done this year: Oh…let’s just I developed a crush on someone unavailable.

13. What I think I would say to myself in 10 years: Thanks for always listening to yourself, even though it sometimes takes a while to sink in.

14. Picture of me now: www.facebook.com/photo.php

Summary:

1. What do I miss most from 1999: Not much. Maybe Laura.

2. What do I miss least from 1999: Being in school.

3. What have I accomplished in 10 years that I am most proud of: I’ve built a life for myself with a good job, good friends, travel, arts and culture. It’s pretty well balanced.

4. What have I NOT accomplished in 10 years that I wish I had: Found that relationship. Written that book, even if unpublished.

Catharsis, or some attempt at it.

I’ve discovered – decided – that you can only reach out to someone so many times.  That sometimes dignity and self-respect must take priority over friendship.  Even 12 year friendships that you can’t imagine no longer being there. I’m fairly sure the saying isn’t “Four strikes, you’re out!”  Hell, sometimes three is too many.

It’s hard letting go when you don’t want to.  It’s even harder to forgive someone who hasn’t actually asked for your forgiveness, who hasn’t admitted to any wrong doing.  What’s it like to live a life where everything you do is 100% justified?  Must be nice…

It’s so incredibly frustrating when all you want to hear is “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that.” It doesn’t have to be dramatic or self-flagellating.  Just a simple, “Yeah, that was completely shitty of me.”  And yet, you know it won’t come.

They say people come into your lives for a reason.  I believe that.  But I also believe that sometimes things change so drastically that you can’t even see it.  Like suddenly walking out into the bright sunlight from a pitch black cave.  How did that happen?  Why didn’t I notice that brightness, that change, in the distance?

But by then it’s too late.  Not only are you wincing in pain from the light, but the cave has collapsed behind you.  No going back.

I am willing to admit to my faults, as difficult as it may be.

I am willing to apologize, and reach out, despite my simmering anger.

I will breathe through it, because it is worth the effort.

Eventually even shouting into a canyon loses its appeal.

One can only listen to their own voice echo for so long, after all.

Too long I’ve been afraid of
Losing love I guess I’ve lost
Well, if that’s love
It comes at much too high a cost!

– Defying Gravity

I am tired of “friends” telling me how wrong or damaged I am.

I am not. Or at least, no more so than anyone else.

If I choose to get angry after flying from Ottawa to BC to visit you and you drop me off with no warning on the streets of Vancouver, alone, at 9:30 at night on my first day there so you can go have sex with a girl you’ve been seeing for a month? Yeah – I’m going to get pissed.

If you say things like: “I don’t believe people are whole without a romantic partner” and I make a face of disagreement — no words are spoken, I just make a face and turn away — well if you then kick me out of your house at 12:30 a.m. because you don’t like the face I made or because I disagreed with you? Yeah — I’m gonna be pissed.

Maybe I’m cynical and sarcastic. Maybe I offer my opinion when it’s not asked for. I’m willing to cop to those things. It’s hard, but for certain friendships I try hard to do it. But when you tell me I “have a great sadness I need to work on.” because you are a channeller and the angels told you so (after kicking me out of your house — see above) I tend to get angry.

Do not tell me what is in my heart. Especially if you’re drinking every night and your life is in a shambles because you drink every night. But you’re a “light worker”!

Do not tell me that you got fed up with me “yelling” at you after you dump me on the streets of a strange city, multiple times, to go have sex.

I’m willing to admit to faults, don’t get me wrong. But if these are the ways people react when they’ve finally reached “the straw that broke the camels back”? Well that’s their problem for not raising their concerns earlier.

I do not deserve how I was treated in these incidents. I’ve apologized for other longer term, underlying hurts, but these? Not my fault.

(P.S. Two different people, same time frame).

I have been waiting for months to see this, ever since I saw the first preview with the beautiful images of Max and the Wild Thing – “I didn’t want to wake you, but there’s something I want to show you…” and the opening strains of The Arcade Fire’s “Wake Up”.

Many people have wondered how you can make a movie out of what amounts to be a 10 page picture book. Not only how, but whether you even should, given that said picture book is beloved by people the world over and is a cherished piece of many, many childhoods. It would be a daunting task, of that I have no doubt. But Spike Jonze has done an incredible, incredible job.

Where the Wild Things Are is a movie about Max. Max is out of control, so says his Mom, and after he gets in trouble with her and runs off (here is where the movie differs from the book), he has a great adventure in a far off land where he discovers his new friends, the Wild Things. They anoint him as their king, and everything is fun and simple and fantastic.

Until it’s not.

Max discovers that his new friends are often angry, childish, hurt & lonely, and sometimes feel neglected. It is hard, he learns, to be king and make everything perfect, as the Wild Things expect him to do.

I won’t go further into detail, but suffice it to say that the film lived up to my expectations and beyond. Max Records (who plays Max) does a brilliant job of being both angry and hurt. The Wild Things are incredible, and I had no idea a puppet could be that emotive – Carol almost made me cry near the end. The best part by far is the dialogue. It is pure and straight from the heart of a 9 year old. Or, you know, Dave Eggers and Spike Jones. They killed it. It made me laugh in pure glee, as well as with that quiet chuckle of remembrance and recognition.

Where the Wild Things Are is a film about a child. It is darker than your typical children’s fair these days, but I also think children would enjoy it. Their parents may enjoy it more.

I am sad. I know it’s mostly for his characters. But I was one of those 10 year old girls who LOVED dirty dancing. I think I saw it 10,000,000 times on sleepovers. And when I discovered Patrick played Darry from “The Outsiders” the ultimate big brother, a pseudo father figure for me at 13, well.

He fought hard against a form of cancer that I hear is awful.

To you, patirick. A class act to the young girl I once was.

1. Berlin (2 nights) Hotel Belmondo am Kurfuerstendamm — from the reviews, this one looks the least swank, but it’s also fairly close to city centre, and I’ve learned that’s often a trade off (see Vienna hotel).  Approx. 7 kms from city centre.

2. Prague (2 nights) Ibis Karlin Hotel Looks decent enough.  About 3 kms from city centre.

3. Vienna (1 night) Austria Trend Event Hotel Pyramide — Far from city centre (13 kms) and only for one night, but the hotel looks fantastic.

4. Budapest (2 nights) Danubius Hotel Arena On the Pest side of the Danube.  Approx. 5.5 kms from city centre.

5. Krakow (2 nights) Holiday Inn Express — say what you will.  You always know what to expect at a Holiday Inn.  And by the end of a trip, that’s nice.  About 3.5 kms from city centre.

6. Warsaw (2 nights) Kyriad Prestige Closest one yet.  Not quite 2 kms and a 20 minute walk to city centre.

I am starting to get excited!!

Nate Phelps.

A speech/article by Nate Phelps, son of the infamous Fred Phelps (who I will not link to).  Interesting insight, particularly since his father’s “religion” seems to have driven him to thte other extreme.

I must not get caught up in this. It is a flirtation, a passing moment, and while it is good for the ego, nothing can or should come of it.

That doesn’t mean I’m not both ashamed of my weakness while also amazed at my bravery.

If only circumstances were different. Very different.

Note to self:

I’m not a princess
This ain’t a fairytale
I’m not the one you’ll sweep off her feet
Lead her up the stairwell