[1] What did you do in 2003 that you’d never done before?
Sadly, nothing jumps to mind immediately. Considered leaving Ottawa is something I had never done before I suppose….

[2] Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I made the typical “quit smoking” resolution, which no, I did not keep. This year I will try to quit smoking again, but my only resolution will be more general: I want to become a more well-rounded person. I want to stop spending so much time on the net, I want to exercise more and eat better, I want to take up a new activity, I want to meet new people, that kind of thing.

[3] Did anyone close to you give birth?
My friend Tara gave birth to her fabulous son Shay in 2003.

[4] Did anyone close to you die?
No (thankfully)

[5] What countries did you visit?
Does Canada count? No? Then zero. (Maybe next year I should resolve to travel more).

[6] What would you like to have in 2004 that you lacked in 2003?
A finished work of fiction. Not necessarily published of course, just written. A stronger sense of self, and a better view on the future.

[7] What date from 2003 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
The wedding of my friends a_just_society and semiotic_trader, and the wedding of my two other friends. Plus, the date gay marriage became legal in Ontario.

[8] What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I haven’t achieved anything huge, but I often think that just living is an achievement.
Oh! I lost 8 pounds, lol!

[9] What was your biggest failure?
Lack of motivation at work; too much time on the net. Haven’t managed to completely let go of E yet. Still working on that in some ways.

[10] Did you suffer illness or injury?
I was diagnosed with Retinopathy of Prematurity – a condition that leaves you with an elevated risk of retinal tears and detachments (which can lead to blindness). Was pretty lasses-faire about it all, figuring I hadn’t had a tear yet in 25 years, until they found 2. In my good eye, no less. Had a total of 4 laser surgeries (mostly because I’m a great big wuss and couldn’t do it in 2) to correct the tears and other weaknesses.

[11] What was the best thing you bought?
A new computer. I love my new computer. Plus the 256 mb Flash Card I just bought for my MP3 player for $60!

[12] Whose behaviour merited celebration?
Everyone who made it through another year.

[13] Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Anti-gay-marriage individuals.

[14] Where did most of your money go?
Rent, student loans, savings, my love of tech gadgets that I don’t need.

[15] What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Mél coming home for a month, Return of the King, previously mentioned new computer, the big changes at work as a result of Paul Martin’s “inauguration”.

[16] What song will always remind you of 2003?
Into the West by Annie Lennox

[17] Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? Happier, I think. It’s hard to say though, because although I’ve finally achieved a state of non-depression, it’s rather a bland state: no big highs, no big lows. I’m just . . .steady.
ii. thinner or fatter? Definitely fatter.
iii. richer or poorer? Richer. Annual pay raises plus cheaper rent = someone who really should have more savings than she does.

[18] What do you wish you’d done more of?
Going out, cultural things like museums. Read more, written more, taken more pictures.

[19] What do you wish you’d done less of?
Smoking, drinking, obsessively being on the net, worrying about the future of my relationship.

[20] How will you be spending Christmas?
I spent in with my entire family for the first time in years. It was great, but stressful. I’m slightly more “removed” from my family every year.

[22] Did you fall in love in 2003?
Almost every day

[23]. How many one-night stands?
None – girlfriend and all that.

[24]. What was your favorite TV program?
Buffy, Everwood, The O.C.

[25]. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Oh yes.

[26]. What was the best book you read?
Hmm. That’s an awful lot like asking a mother to pick her favourite child.

[27]. What was your greatest musical (re)discovery?
Late Tuesday. Ryan Malcolm (heh).

[28]. What did you want and get?
My computer. A good life.

[29]. What did you want and not get?
A real commitment.

[30]. What was your favorite film of this year?
Oh as if. (Return of the King, duh!)

[31]. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Hmm. I believe I had a bunch of friends over and we drank. I turned 25.

[32]. What one thing would have made the year immeasurably more satisfying?
I’m not sure. The year was fairly good. Less fights with Mél would have made it more satisfying.

[33]. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2003?
Whatever fits

[34]. What kept you sane?
Me. Mél. Friends. Time alone, time with friends.

[35]. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
No clue.

[36]. What political issue stirred you the most?
Gay marriage.

[37]. Who did you miss?
My girlfriend. Old friends I’ve lost.

[38]. Who was the best new person you met?
I have no idea. I have a horrible memory.

[39]. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2003:
Life tends to settle like the garlic at the bottom of a pickle jar, and sometimes you need to shake it up.

[40]. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
Hmm. I’ll have to get back to ya.

What is Christnas to me? I’m not sure what my real reasons are for celebrating. I’m certainly no devout christian, although I do want and try to make it about more than the gifts.

The time off: At it’s most basic, I like Christmas because it gives me time off from work for several days at once. A mini vacation in the midst of the cold weather. I’d hesitate to call it relaxing, but in someways it slows the pace of life down. I’m forced away from my typical daily activities and I just am. I used to use the time off to sleep late, but that seems to be changing.

Thinking: To me, Christmas and New Years is a tine for introspection. I think on the year gone by, how it went, how I want things to go in my life in the coming year, things I want to inprove about myself. Not resolutions really – rather a year plan. Goals. Guidelines. Hopes.

Family: But of course. Although they drive me absolutely nutty, and I often flee to empty rooms for some desparate time alone, in a lot of ways we’ve evolved into the kind of family I’d hoped we’d be. Extended, but close. There’s always tons of people around, the kids get to be with their Aunts and Uncles and cousins, something I never had growing up. I don’t think I could handle it bgeing like this all year, but one week out of 52 is good

I hope your holidays have all been wonderful. Best wishes.

Ugh. I have no energy. Ever. It’s beginning (actually, beginning is probably generous) to effect my relationship and my sex life. We’ve taken to sniping at each other about the issue, which is no good to anyone but for some reason seems the easiest thing to do when you’re upset. Lash out and hurt the other person, hit them in that one area that everyone’s sensitive about. It’s true that misery loves company, why else would we be so snotty to each other?

I bought some Ginseng/Royal Jelly pills today in the faint hope that they will somehow give me more energy. Of course I had the same hope about the multivitamins I started taking many moons ago to no noticable difference. What I really need is some sort of magic pill that will allow me to control my emotions so that they don’t get insanely out of control. Easily hurt, easily angered, little interest in sex. My poor girlfriend. In my own defense, I suspect that PMS doesn’t help.

Today is hopefully the last day of eye surgery. One more stupid 5 – 10 minute session and hopefully that will be it for the rest of my life. Cross your fingers for me, ok? Mél will be there, thankfully, it’s nice to have company for once. Someone to go home with and be there when I likely pass out and sleep for at least an hour.

Otherwise, I’m just waiting for Friday, thet day Paul Martin gets sworn in as PM, so that Ican find out what is going on with the new cabinet and how it will affect my workplace, if it does at all, although I suspect it will have some rather large implications.

I am the bitchiest bitch that ever bitched today. Everything on earth is pissing me off. I won’tr begin listing what exactly, as it would take far too much time and space. I hate PMS.

It’s been a fairly quiet weekend. Mél and I went to the Casino friday night after my work party. It was an interesting experience. I didn’t blow too too much cash, and Mél actually came out on top. I made her buy me some beer after that Saturday we stayed in and drank beer and finished watching the rest of The Two Towers. Quiet nights in are nice, but sometimes I find myself going absolutely stir crazy, like today. But I managed to focus one of stupid fights into cleaning a bit of the apartment. Now I better not have to do it again until January. At least. In other thoroughly exciting news, I think I need a new vacuum cleaner a mere year and a half after I bought the one I have. I’m gonna get a bagless this time, and chalk it up to “ya get what ya pay for”.

Yeah, I’m dragging the bottom of the barrel here.