Whew boy. I pity those around me these last few days. Talk about mood swings. Gotta love PMS. It’s like I see myself being crazy psycho bitch, but yet I am compelled to keep acting that way.

Ah well, that’s the great thing about being a dyke, GF gets PMS too, so it’s kinda even, it’s not like she can complain or be all macho jerk about it. So that’s always a bonus.

My mother received the book I sent her as a surprise: Different Daughters – Mothers of Lesbians Write. I didn’t tell her what it was before I sent it (because yes, I am evil that way) so she couldn’t reject it. She seems to be enjoying it as far as one can enjoy those things. No great epiphanies have happened yet, but I keep hoping.

Other than that, I’ve just been a shopping, drinking, music-pirating machine lately. I love cable modems and various unmentionable file sharing agents.

I’ve been trying to get ahead on some of the books I have lined up. Still making my way through Manifesta. Have no idea what’s next.

Well, that was fast! I entered my diary for review a xouple days ago and it’s done already. Impressive. I got an 89/100. I was kind of hoping for in the 90s, but my non-daily updating is what got me low scores. Oh well. It’s a cute service they provide.

GF called this morning to wake me up. She apparently likes to hear my “cute, groggy morning voice” ha. I think I sound like grover from Sesame Street in the mornings, but whatever. As long as one of us thinks it’s cute.

Went out on the town with Elliott last night. I have never seen him intoxicated before, and it was rather amusing. It’s the latest I’ve been out in ages. I actually felt my age. It was rather nice.

This day is starting off like shit. I left for work 10 minutes late – thank god for flex time and the fact that no one pays attention to me. I couldn’t find my cell phone charger to charge it while I was at work. Because I was running late, I didn’t get a chance to put any moisturizer on, so my face feels like sandpaper.

And to top it all off, I’m having a “low self-esteem” moment. I hate those. This one is a result of a conversation (read: debate) I had with a friend of mine last night over a couple pints. She’s one of those fight-the-power kind of people, and so am I, ultimately. She was expressing her distaste for job hunting & the fact that all that seems to be available is government jobs. This is disheartening to her because she doesn’t feel she would be happy working for the government.

So I asked her why. She proceeds to say something like “there’s too much Beaurocracy, nothing in the government will ever change.” I’m all, “how do you know if you don’t try yaddayaddayadda” and her side turned into a defeatist no one-can-make-a-difference-as-a-public-servant-so-why-try. This disturbed me so much. She used to be such a fighter. Not to mention the fact that nothing in the government will ever change if the people who want to change it can’t be bothered to work for them.

Call me a Liberal if you must, but I truly believe that.

She proceeded to call me the government’s “poster child”.

Here’s where the self-esteem thing comes in.

That comment got me pissed. I resent her pessimistic, white, middle-class ass telling me that I’m what basically amounts to a sell out.

I mean, who’s the one on the other side of the table using cheap cop outs?

Yeah, not me.

But I also generally really respect this girl, and I admit to once (years ago, people) having a crush on her. I like her, and have always (lamely) wanted her to like me. So now I’m conflicted between being pissed, and worrying that she’s lost respect for me, or that I’ve offended her somehow.

I almost want to call her and say I’m sorry, when really I have nothing to be sorry about.

I wish I had some readers to write me and talk me out of that. LOL.

Ah, well, on with work I suppose.

I am a public servant

I am a female

I am 23

I hate being cold

I sometimes forget to eat

I love my family but we couldn’t possibly be more different

I am gay

Mélanie est ma belle fille

I think long distance relationships suck

I like to write, though I’ve been doing very little of it lately

I have zero work ethic

Cats are better than dogs

I walk almost everywhere

So as you can guess, I don’t drive

I type over 30 words a minute one-handed

I live with a gay boy

He’s particularly clean, and I am NOT

I am surprisingly busy for someone with no life

I think K’s choice is the best band

I had to take caffeine pills to wake up at work today

I have a “Yuppie cell phone”

I am a pseudo-vegetarian

I graduated from University 6 months ago

Thus, I am now $20,000 in debt (Yay OSAP!)

I love my new annual salary though

I wear orthotics, which makes finding cool shoes difficult

I want to improve my French

I am Canadian

It is not, however, my favourite beer

I smoke & am CONSTANTLY trying to quit

My brand is DuMaurier Ultra Lites

I spend too much time on the Net, especially at work

I wrote a small novella when I was 14. It was over 100 pages

I took horseback riding for 5 years

I used to have a tongue ring

I swallow my gum (I know, it’s bad)